F009 Diary Entry. Friday. A beating.

Well, i think as I wake up, I have survived the first week. Christina has readied my luggage, I'll leave directly from the school. She keeps that resentful gaze on me, especially when she thinks I'm not looking. Annoying. She should know better, should not she? Does she think I can spend all day with her eyes on my back?

I feel a need to put her to her place. So when she sets up things for breakfast I pull up from my chair. Nosily. It could be a normal gesture. We both know it is not.

She staggers back. I advance, fists closed. A raucous "what" dies in her throat. I hit her hard in her plexus and look at her crumbling, breathless. There's something wrong. A kick on her chest, not to break her ribs, just a whipped kick on her breasts. The hurt reflect on her face and I rejoice. I know I'm going to see the color of her blood now. Now. My heartbeat is too fast and a voice in my head keeps saying that there is something amiss.

I use my fists and a kick on full power. No restraint.

The kitchen storage and the table break in pieces. There is blood on my hands. Mine. I forgot to take my pill. Celestial damnation, how could I? The pain calms me. Christina is puking. It took all my willpower not to kill her with my fists. I run to my room to take the accursed pill. I return with makeshift bandages on my hands. She is on her knees, cleaning.

Before leaving, I just tell Christina that this was nothing exceptional and that I could beat her any time I want. I ask her if this is ok. She nods, unable to word her answer; they have told her about me. I hate myself now, but this will pass too. Maci. I need to go back home.

I send Christina away as I arrive to the school. I need that Muromachi woman services for my hands. I wonder what she will say, slightly curious about her mystery.

S002 Diary Entry: Become a Cheerleader

I met Grace this afternoon at the book store. She was recruiting for the cheerleader squad. I signed up right there. Although I used to feel a bit jealous of those cheerleaders for the attention they received, I never wanted to be one as being a cheerleader seems to be announcing that you are inferior to those athletes and you can only cheer at the sideline. Since Dick became daddy, I was required to join school's cheerleader squad and trained hard to be a good one. To help framing my mind to develop my enthusiastic spirit, I was taught to admire all those hunky football players in my mind. I was to imagine that they are my heroes and I am to be so eager to show them how much I worship them. Over time, it did help and I was always so excited when doing my act in the games.

I know that I would be expected to be in the squad in Sandon too and show the same level of devotion if not more. I only hope that boys in Sandon are more mature and gentleman like. I can never forget last summer when I was trapped in those boys' locker room. I was so scared when Jake pinned me against the wall and forced a kiss on me. I was so humiliated about my boobs getting so hard under his probing hands and the head coach came in right at the moment. Although he rescued me from Jake's advance. He dismissed me as a cocktease and threatened to spank me if he caught me in the locker room with his players next time. That was such a degrading experience yet I get so excited whenever I replay the scenes in my mind. What's wrong with me?

F008 Diary Entry. Thursday.

A visitor from the Circle. We invite him for a guest lecture. Two of my assassins are in the crowd, one is at the electronic surveillance system. So the school is actually used as a safehouse. The man sleeps in my guestroom; the guys sleep in the hall, weapons on the ready. I should perhaps be worried, but I feel bored. The Circle often makes a fuss for nothing.

I'll spend the weekend with the guy, moving him to another town. I have to report on his behavior. But he's silent all the time, and dozes in front of the TV. I'd rather not know.

At the school, my dorks gang expected something to happen. I smile thinking about the spirit with which they have entered the school today. One of them with a bandage on his hand. No time for them, I'll let them wonder why they're not being punished.

V002 Diary Entry. Wednesday

Work. Still going through student files. Boredom.

I've posted an announcement for a student intern for the ward; compensation, basic arts, extra credit, et cetera. That should appeal to some bright young lady. Or two.

Met with some of the staff. Unremarkable sort, though Mr. Perenti's assistant is a bright-eyed one with a figure to match. Ah, Christina. Likely already Perenti's slattern so, out of my reach. For now.

Set a broken finger, heavily bruised. Stubborn young man saw fit to not satisfy my inquiry about how such was obtained. Obstinate. Filed for later.

S001 Diary Entry: New Beginning

It's so exciting to finally arrive at Sandon. It's like a dream. I never thought that I could ever come here, at least not one year ago. Yes, my grade is good enough but mom could never afford to send me to a private school like this if not for daddy's wealth. Gosh, I call him daddy so naturally now. Our lives definitely changed a lot since mom married him. Luxury mansion, all the pretty clothes that I could only dream of but I think I've paid a high price for it. I wonder if mom knows about what daddy did to me.

Even after a year by now, I still feel so humiliated to have to call him daddy like a little girl. Hell, I even need to behave like an obedient little girl. I still blush every time when I answer him with the required little-girl-tone "Yes, daddy?". Yet, those humiliation always turns me on so much. I wonder if that's really normal or if there's something wrong with me. Daddy always told me that it's a girl's nature to be eager to please men and only in doing it so that they will be happy and fulfilled. I thought he's just talking shit and tried to brainwash me but now I am really confused. Ever since the day daddy took me to his office, my life changed completely. All his so-called girl's obedience lessons have changed how I behaved completely. Not only I'm so used to be compleyely obedient to daddy, I found it's hard for me to be cold to boys at school too, at least those nice-looking ones. It's like a mental bondage that daddy has placed on me.

F007 Diary Entry. The Dorks Gang.

Everything worked like a clock.

At five in the afternoon I have only five students. My selected targets. Their awkwardness reminds me of my own youth.

We are few, and an odd number. My assistant, Christina, is looking at us from the bleachers, her back straight. I asked her to take with her a sack with sporting clothes. She looks nervous even from here.

I move towards her, asking her to play with us. She takes her sunglasses off and reaches the changing room. Heels and nylons give way to tight pants, pumps and a top that leaves her navel free. Her long black hair tied in a ponytail, she reaches us complaining she does not know the game. The boys simply drool.

There is no game, just a continual sequence of blunders and fouls. I play against the gym teacher, youth against experience. Two stubborn men. The boys play another game; for them, anything that includes bumping Christina or falling over her is a goal. She tries to stay away from the ball, since every time she touches it the play resembles more rugby than soccer.

At the end I instruct Christina to shower. Long. I take the gym teacher away in my study, and after half hour I send him home. The school is desert. I walk back to the sport court. The boys' changing room is empty. Good boys.

They stagger back at my sight. Well, all of them except one who seems to have reverted to an animal state. I have to grab him and pull him outside of her. This displeases me, so I remark the fact breaking him a finger, then twisting it until he faints. It's not the pain or the fainting that they will remember, but the easiness with which I do that. I'm squatting a fly and they know it.

To their surprise, I let them go without a word, clumsily carrying their friends. Christina has spread a few tears but refuses to cry in front of me. I do not let her drive. I forbid her to speak, too. She knocks at my room later that evening. I send her away without a word, and I go to bed early.

F006 Diary Entry. Tuesday.

It's madness. The file on the nurse is empty of content. Just a few words on education, bank account - probably false - and meaningless remarks. I can feel someone laughing at me through the words there. Well, Venturi Muromachi, you're here to report on me? You're friends of someone higher?

Paranoia I guess. It could be true; she could be a plain, unremarkable.. But why the circle would..

I should meet with the two of them, Venturi and Mr. C. Would they ask for instructions? I still have to make out a plan. The largest part of the day is spent with the students' files, selecting the more promising targets. The circle so-called-friends will have to wait. I select a few promising target.

On my way out I meet the gym teacher. I organize a soccer match for tomorrow. The guys I selected will find a nice surprise, if my plan works. I pass a list of names to Mr. C and ask him to make sure they do not show tomorrow. I will have only the worst male students: a mix of frustration, pent up rage and hormones; the kind that is totally invisible for girls. Them, me and the gym teacher.. well, apart from someone else.